Whether you have just begun to work on your sex life or have been on this journey for many years, I want to encourage you to pause today, just for a moment, and take a good look at how far you’ve come.
My journey
My first step came out of a place of selfishness and desperation. My husband was so dejected, and I could see that we had been drifting apart for some time. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d laughed together.
It didn’t occur to me to think that our marriage might actually heal. I thought maybe things would feel less tense and sad between us. The best I hoped for was that our marriage would become tolerable—a neutral place, if not a positive one.
As I persisted through learning not to hate sex, letting my husband see my body, and more, I often paused to marvel at the fact that I had made progress.
After all the years of “I can’t possibly do that,” I noted even the smallest accomplishment.
Every time I did something that had been hard, I made a point to celebrate my progress—not so I could rest on my laurels, but so I could feel encouraged that my effort was making a difference. Seeing that my effort paid off helped me stay motivated and build momentum to keep going. It also helped me recognize where God had been at work.
Even now, when I do something new or hard related to sex, I say a prayer of thanks and rejoice at the progress.
Yay, you!
Reflect on where you were when you began this journey. Remember why you took that first step. Think about what you hoped to accomplish.
Then take a look at where you are now.
For some of you, the fact that you’re actually reading a blog about sexual intimacy is huge. Good for you! Celebrate!
Maybe you tried having sex with the lights on, or you initiated sex. Perhaps you offered him a sexual activity he’s been asking for. Or you added a dose of major spice, ordered a book about sexual intimacy, or read Song of Songs and didn’t grumble about the sexual imagery.
‘Attagirl! And praise God!
Let’s do a happy dance
Wherever you are, pause for a moment and celebrate how far you’ve come.
Every step takes you further along on your journey. Whether you’ve taken thousands of steps or just one or two, you aren’t where you started—and that is definitely worth celebrating.
And know that I am celebrating right here with you. Woo-hoo! You go, girl!
I’d love for you to share your progress with me in a comment. Let’s all do a happy dance for how far we’ve come!
The winner of the Awaken Love giveaway is Sara! Sara, look for an email from me. Congratulations!
Image credit | Bru-nO at pixabay.com
I've moved! While you can peruse the archives here, I am no longer posting at The Forgiven Wife.
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Ladies, if you're interested in joining me for a study of Juli Slattery's new book God, Sex, and Your Marriage, time is running out! Our study begins with introductions on February 26, 2023, but the study will be open to join until March 5.
This is such good advice as sometimes I do forget how much progress we have made from our dead bedroom days. We have both been trying to make positive changes for three years now but occasionally my thoughts backslide and I need to stop them dead in their tracks and focus on all the good.
I did a lot of backsliding, too. At times, I considered it progress if I could just stay where I was without moving backwards. It really can help to focus on the good results of our effort to help us believe in what we are doing.