In this morning’s sermon, our pastor talked about the battle to stay faithful, especially when being faithful means setting aside old ways. He said, “We all have days when the past threatens to reach up and pull us down.” It is too difficult to engage in the future, which is unknown and scary, when our past ways are just reaching out to us.
He talked a bit about 12-step programs (several meet in our church building) and how they teach us the value of 1) taking just one step at a time, and 2) being faithful in the present moment. Too many of our present moments are caught up in the effort to not be like the past or to worry about the future. Just be faithful, right now, one day at a time…or one hour at a time….or one moment at a time.
The effort to change a sexual relationship to bring a marriage closer to God’s best for us is the same way. Too often, we are caught up in the past (previous sexual experiences, bad teachings about sex, dysfunctional families) or questioning the future (will sex tonight create an expectation of sex tomorrow, how will we pay the bills, will I ever be able to clean a room and have it stay that way for an entire hour). We need to remember the value of living our marriages in the present moment. Right now, what can I do about my marriage? Today, how can I let my husband know I will have sex with him? Tonight, can I make the decision to roll toward him with open eyes rather than roll away with my eyes squeezed shut? It doesn’t mean to ignore the past and disregard the future–but don’t let those times become so huge that you cannot live, and love, in the present moment.
Tonight, when you go to bed next to your husband, how will you live in the present moment? When your old life and old habits threaten to reach up through your efforts and pull you down, just keep fighting your battle, one night at a time.