One Step Forward

It is often said that the hardest step of a journey is the first one. While I think that is often true, it doesn’t mean the rest of the steps are easy!

Sometimes we find ourselves stuck. We may know what the next step is, but we find ourselves dragging our feet or unable to actually do what needs to be done.

I would like to encourage you to decide right now to work toward that next step, whatever it may be.

I’d like to offer a challenge for you during the coming week:

Commit to taking the next step.

What is your next step?

We are all at different places in our journey toward full intimacy with our husbands.

Some of us are struggling to accept that a lack of sexual intimacy in marriage is a problem. Others have begun to work on sex but continue to have thoughts or feelings that get in the way of growth. Other women may be stuck because after all the effort they’ve made, their husbands aren’t responding well—and they don’t feel like putting more effort into it.

Some women may have made plenty of progress and have seen much healing in their marriage but they wonder how to add a little spice (check out this post and this one). Or they have a specific activity in mind and want to prepare themselves to surprise their husband with something he’s asked for. Or there is something sexual they’d like to try and they need to figure out how to ask for it.

Wherever you are in your journey, decide what your next step will be. Remember that there is no one “right” next step. Just think about what you’ve had on your mind and in your heart, and decide that will be your next step.

Pray about it. Ask your husband for his input. Reflect on your journey so far to consider what you’ve learned about yourself and your husband.

Move one step closer.

During the coming week, do one thing to move you closer to taking that step. Just one thing.

Try some of these:

• Repeat a sex-positive thought every day.
• Pay attention to your thoughts, and work to silence the negative ones.
• Read an article or blog post that will help you focus on your overall health and be reminded that sex is part of a healthy life for you, not just for your husband. (Check out Calm.Healthy.Sexy.)
• Read an article or blog post to help you feel more positive and generous in your marriage. (Visit The Generous Wife and Encourage Your Spouse.)
• Identify a baby step.
• Imagine yourself having a conversation with your husband, including the location, time of day, and words.
• Do something romantic for you and your husband. (The Romantic Vineyard has great ideas!)
• Read an article or blog post to help you learn about your libido. (Check out this post and Bonny’s OysterBed7.)
• Picture yourself actually doing the sexual activity you have in mind.
• Put on the lingerie, stand in front of the mirror, and remind yourself how beautiful you are.
• Practice putting on the special lingerie or making the move. When you’re in a room where you’re planning to have sex, close your eyes and imagine you and your husband right there having sex. Actually say the words you’re going to try out on him.
• Read an article or blog post that talk about how to do the sexual technique you’re considering. (Check out my Spicy Extras page or visit Hot, Holy & Humorous, Intimacy in Marriage, Awaken-Love, To Love, Honor, & Vacuum, or I Am the Sex Talk Lady.)

Decide on your next step.

Do one thing to move yourself forward toward that step.

While you’re working toward that next step, check out this post for some things you can do right away (yes, today!)

Take one step . . .

 . . .toward your next step.

Slow progress is still progress—and it just might get you moving forward on your journey.

Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Psalm 25:4

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