Oral Sex Techniques

Quite a few Bible scholars have suggested that this verse refers to oral sex:

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my beloved among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste. Song of Solomon 2:3

His fruit is sweet to her taste? That definitely sounds like oral sex to me.

When we are tasting food, we don’t always have the same approach. We may take a mouthful, use our fingers to dip into something creamy, use just the tip of our tongue, or pull the food all the way into the back of our mouth for a full taste.

Likewise, we might use different approaches in tasting his fruit.

We often have this idea that oral sex means one thing: taking the entire penis all the way into the mouth. Either he thrusts in and out until he has an orgasm, or she bobs up and down until it happens.

As my friend J. Parker explained in What Does He Mean by “Oral Sex”? (It May Not Be What You Think), that’s not how a lot of oral sex looks. (And hey, while I’m on the subject of J. Parker, did you know she is available to speak at your event? She is waiving her speaking fee for 2018 only, so if you’ve been thinking of inviting her, do it now! If she is even 25% as fun as she is on our podcast, she’ll be great!)

So anyway, back to oral sex . . . if oral sex doesn’t always look like a woman bobbing up and down on her husband’s penis, how exactly does it look? How do real life Christian wives give their husbands oral sex?

Not too long ago, I put together a survey asking Christian wives about this. What do they actually do when they’re giving their husbands oral sex? Although I had a fairly small number of survey respondents (under 50), they were very detailed in describing how they give oral sex. (Thank you, ladies!)

What did they have to say about the wonderful variety of ways to do oral sex?

Where oral sex happens

Obviously, giving your husband oral sex means that you are stimulating his penis with your mouth, but let’s look at where else women are giving some oral attention.

Many women said that they focus oral stimulation on the head of the penis. Specifically, many of them mentioned the frenulum—a small area on the underside of the penis, right where the head connects to the shaft. This is a spot that is particularly sensitive to pleasurable stimulation.

From firm pressure to light tickling to rhythmic licking, attention to the frenulum is reported to give the most pleasure.

Quite a few women mentioned stimulating the testicles as well, either by licking or sucking on them or by touching them while orally stimulating the penis. A few women also mentioned caressing the legs or pressing on the perineum (between the scrotum and the anus) to provide their husbands with more sensations.

Methods that real Christian wives use

Your mouth has made it to your husband’s penis. Now what? What do you actually do while you’re there?

Survey respondents mentioned techniques that had to do with pressure, rhythm, and a variety of ways to use their mouths and hands. Here’s what they had to say (with light editing):

What do to with the mouth (and more)

• Switch from tongue to full mouth/throat, also use hands, both on shaft and testicles and legs
  
• Make my lips tight around his head and rub against the rim of the head. Also hold the shaft in my hand and twirl my tongue around the head.
  
• Lick like a popsicle, rub w/ my hand, pull gently with my lips, lick his scrotum.
  
• One word – SUCK it. Don’t bob…suck. Wrap the lips and do it like a milkshake.
  
• Lollipop technique.
  
• Lick, suck, nibble, stroke everything. Start soft and slow then increase speed and pressure… His favorite is when I tighten my lips and push my mouth in one continuous movement as far onto his penis as possible (like he is entering the vagina)
  
• Mouth, tongue, hand licking sucking kissing head shaft and testicles.
• I use some unflavored water-based lube and get my hand in on the action. If my mouth gets tired, I use my hand for a while. Also use my hand to make it seem like I am taking him deeper into my mouth. I use my mouth on the first 2 inches or so and move my hand up and down at the same rhythm as my mouth. Side to side motion focusing on the head and especially frenulum seems to feel great. Add in some sucking on his testicles.
• Usually focus more on the head part and use my hand to help. Lots of licking and swirling my tongue all the way around the head.

Rhythm & pressure

• Right hand at the base, left hand stimulating testicles or elsewhere, some concentration on the head with my mouth including regular thrusts to the base. Building more rhythmic thrusts to the base.
  
• Sucking, tongue flicking, gentle suck with an up & down motion. A little bit of deep throat but not too much. Gentle blowing to let him feel coolness. (when he’s close to orgasm) playing with the tip more and then whole mouth sucking when he goes to ejaculate.
  
• Basic up and down on the top part. Not too deep.
  
• I like to tease him. Licking and sucking very slowly and then take it all in with a good rhythm. Drives him crazy. Continue that way until I can tell he’s reaching orgasm. When he’s there he tells me (usually with grunts and moans) and I pull off and finish with my hand. Other times when he gets close we change position and he enters me and finishes that way. Just really depends on how we’re both feeling. Either way is good with me.
• Combining hand job and oral; licking the crown and tip; licking up and down the shaft; sucking the shaft; full insertion; deep-throating…pretty much anything I can think up that he seems to like. The frenulum is especially sensitive, so more time gets spent there.
• In no particular order, some things I do: flicking the frenulum and or feeling it with my tongue in different ways, gently sucking on the head, licking up the shaft all the way to the head, kissing his penis anywhere, having the whole thing in my mouth and going up and down, gently licking/sucking his testicles.
• I’ve never really thought about it – it just came naturally. I switch between a flat firm tongue that raises up to meet the penis, and a soft tongue that is more at the bottom of my mouth or that wraps around.
• Lick his penis to tease him. Then stimulate him with my mouth. Sucking and moving up and down on his penis, including licking his testicles. I use my hand to stimulate the bottom half of his penis while I stuck on the top part so I don’t gag.
• Strategic suction, varying angle occasionally, brief teasing at tip.
• I suck, use my hands and tongue while gently massaging his testicles.
• Sucking a lot (he likes the pressure) rubbing my tongue around his penis and testicles and resting his testicles between my teeth with minimal pressure.

Great advice

Whether you’re an expert at giving your husband oral sex or are a newbie who is just trying to get started, maybe some of these techniques can give you some ideas. (I found a couple things I hadn’t thought about before.)

I’d like to leave you with my favorite ideas from the survey.

After a fresh shower, we pray together, then engage in some spirited “necking” and full body fondling next to our bed.

Showering and then praying together before sex can be a great way of bringing your best self, body and soul, to your lovemaking. I really love this comment.

He tells me what feels good and I do that.

No matter how much you think you know or how many new techniques you try, your husband is your best source on what would feel good to him.

There is only one true way to perform fellatio, and that’s with enthusiasm.

Oral sex is not just about the physical pleasure for your husband. Technique can make it better for him, but there is no technique that will make up for a lack of enthusiasm on your part.

If you’re struggling with giving your husband oral sex, you might find these posts helpful:

Do I Have To?
Oral Arguments
Oral Blessings
Dealing with a Gag Reflex
Because He’s Worth It
Oral Blessings – More Resources
Get to Know His Penis
Enjoying Your Husband’s Semen
Take a Step Toward Oral Sex
Oral Sex: Spit, or Swallow?

Image credit | Couleur at pixabay.com

---

---

I've moved! While you can peruse the archives here, I am no longer posting at The Forgiven Wife.

Please join me at Honeycomb & Spice.

---

---

  Ladies, if you're interested in joining me for a study of Juli Slattery's new book God, Sex, and Your Marriage, time is running out! Our study begins with introductions on February 26, 2023, but the study will be open to join until March 5.